


And if I could, I would look at us all the time

by marveltato



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Dimension Travel, F/M, Forgive Me, Give everybody a hug, Light Angst, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Out of Character, Slow To Update, Songfic, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, That mirror, Time Travel, What Have I Done, don't kill me?, fluffy with a side of angst, kinda OOC, maybe character death?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-05-19 05:55:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14867933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marveltato/pseuds/marveltato
Summary: Natasha Laufeyson was on her second marriage already and right now, her current husband admitted that he was playing around with her assistant. Her husband's love for mirrors made her realize that maybe, being surrounded by mirrors wasn't that bad. Not until her vanity mirror started giving her wrong reflections.





	1. The mirror is broken

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever fic! Sorry for some grammatical error. This will have slow updates since school is starting again. I'll try to update weekly. Hope you'll like this story.

Natasha thought of her husband's words. It was painful, yes. He admitted that he had an affair with her assistant. And here she is, in front of her vanity mirror, examining what's wrong with her. She caressed the mirror surface as if she's trying to comfort herself. Their bedroom was filled with mirror. She sat on their bed, looking at the closet door that was left open for her to see her reflection from her vanity. She laid down and stared at the mirror in their ceiling. Her husband said he wanted it to be there so he can always see her.  
  
The mirror's reflection was different than what she thought she'll see. A man, in his early 20s, fidgeting at the buttons of his coat. She stood up and looked at the vanity mirror. The man is now looking straight at her, with his eyes filled with confusion. The man stared at her and closed his eyes. He opened them again and still saw Natasha in his mirror.  
  
"Peggy? I think the mirror is broken," he said.  
  
"That's ridiculous, Steven. Oh, don't tell me you broke it with your fist," said Peggy, whom Natasha can also see from the mirror. "It looks normal to me, I can see our reflections. It's not broken."  
  
Both Steven and Natasha are too confused to believe in what Peggy just said. Steven's confused face change to a happy one. Natasha watched as Peggy left and Steven stared at her with his baby blue eyes. She stood up to touch the mirror's surface. Steve does the same. She can feel him, his calloused hands against her soft one. 'This is ridiculous,' they both said with their thoughts. They both mimicked each other's movement. Their hands against each other. Until his husband shouted for her name and expected to know where she is. The sad look in Steve's eyes said it all. He can feel her sadness, through the mirror. 

 

Loki entered the room and saw his wife in front of the large vanity mirror. He looked at her reflection, it was filled with anger, sadness, shame, and shockingly, love. He placed his hands on her shoulder.  
  
"I know, you can't forgive me right now, but please, don't leave me. You're the only family I've got. I can't risk to lose you," he said while caressing her shoulders. "I was alone when she approached me. I fell for her charms. I didn't mean it. I love you."  
  
_"You should have thought of that when you went down with her."_  
  
Steve don't know what to feel about this scene unfolding before him. He feels sad for the Natasha but he feels anger towards the man.  
  
Loki left Natasha alone after that statement. Steve tried to call her through the mirror. Natasha looked up only to see Steve smiling from the other side. "He?" Steve asked expecting her to complete it.  
  
"He did me wrong. He went down with my assistant in one of our company parties," She looked at Steve who's currently caressing the mirror. She moved closer and felt his hands as if it was really him in front of her. "He admitted it in front of my board members. My brother was furious, his brother was disappointed, and I was speechless."  
  
Steve offered his hand and Natasha reached for it. The mirror was gone and she was walking into it. Steve held her until she was on the other side with him. For the first time, Steve felt a pang of anguish as they both looked at the other side. Loki was there, carrying a small box. He spilled all the bottles on the vanity into the box. When he was almost finished, he placed a framed photo. He sat on the chair and stared at it for a long time. Steve tried reaching out for it but the mirror acted as a barrier, he was unable to go through it unlike Natasha did. Loki left the room with the box. He came back again and looked at himself in the mirror. All he saw was himself, the framed photo, and the gun he was holding. He can't take it, he turned the framed photo towards the mirror. Both Steve and Natasha was shot with lament. It was Natasha's photo with her former husband, Stefan. A wedding photo before the third world war. Loki was crying on the other side.  
  
"I can't replace him. I am not him for you to love. You belonged to him, your heart belongs to him," Loki said as he sat on the chair. "You don't deserve a cheater like me, I don't deserve you. I don't deserve your smile every time we are together. Natasha, I can't deserve you and I never will. It was a sin to use your grief. To use his loss as my chance on you. It was a greedy decision to keep you to myself. I was getting tired of them comparing Stefan. Stefan is an excellent husband, even on his deathbed, his thoughts are about you and the family you never get to build. And Loki was just someone who had loved Natasha. Loki loved Natasha because she cared for him. Natasha was Loki's light that constantly shines on him. Loki failed Natasha's love for him because he cheated. He drowned himself with alcohol and let the other girl do everything to him. He drowned in alcohol because he realized that he can't give Natasha the family she always wanted."  
  
  


Loki dropped his gun and walked out of the room. He laid on the bed, tucking himself in. Presumably, crying himself to sleep at 6:00 in the afternoon. He was obviously beaten up since his back was filled with bruises and lashes. Natasha immediately felt that Loki needs her. Steve also felt that Natasha was needed by her husband. They exchanged sad smiles before Steve touched the mirror. Natasha climbed through the mirror and when she was already on the other side, the mirror acted again as a barrier and Steve was no longer there. 

 

"Loki?"


	2. You go your way, I'll go mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha felt bad for Loki's suffering. The man can't give her children, we can't possibly make this day worse? Well, it looks like Loki's brother and father were thoroughly disappointed they hired someone to beat him out of his bones. Steve, on the other side, is ready to attend the celebration since Hitler is now dead, world war 2 was a thing of the past now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update before my hell week ends.

_"Loki?"_

 

"Nat. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry," Loki cried as she comforted him in a hug.   
  
  


Natasha grew curious about his bruises and lacerations on his back. Loki winced at the contact of her finger against the slightly bleeding back. Even his abdomen part wasn't spared from bruises. From her perspective, Loki wasn't gone for that long to suffer such injuries. She suspected that he was hiding them when he came home. Well, his confession to the board was just last afternoon meeting. Her first thought was her brother, Tony, but Tony knows that she wouldn't want Loki to come home suffering from bruises and lacerations. It could be Thor, Loki's brother, or Clint, her best friend. She pulled away from the hug and looked at Loki. His face wasn't hurt, it seems like they avoided hitting him there. Loki just held tightly on her clothes. It was obvious that he won't admit who did this to him. Loki was whispering words at her chest as he embraced her mid part. And now she was sure who was behind his injuries. 

 

 _"Disgrace, mischief, coward, disappointment."_ He kept repeating them until he got sleepy repeating it to himself.

 

Natasha laid him and tucked him in. It was so dark already that the only source of light they had was the moon. 

 

On the other side, Steve decided to finish his look with a brushed hair. He touched the mirror but nothing happens. It's just him and his sad bedroom. No Natasha or anything.

 

"Steven, we're going to be late if you don't fix yourself faster." 

 

"Just a minute." He looked at the mirror again and put a small smile. 

 

Peggy was waiting for him downstairs, even his friend, Bucky was waiting for him.  "Took you so long, punk," Bucky said as he stood up and fixed his coat.

 

"At least, I took my time looking good in the mirror." _"Tsk, you are quite fond of that mirror, the one your ma gave."_

_  
_

Steve, Peggy, and Bucky came to the party and everyone cheered for them. Steve gave a speech, congratulating everyone who contributed to the victory of the Allies against the Axis. After that, the whole venue was dancing and singing. Steve felt a little uncomfortable watching people celebrate, he feels empty. He decided to went outside for a while. He sat near the terrace end, where another person joined him. 

  


"It was a successful war, isn't it?" The person said in a rough Russian accent. Steve faced the other person and he was bewildered at the sight of a familiar face. He blushed when he saw the woman staring at him as if she was reading him thoroughly. 

  


"It was not, it was not," Steve said as he shifted in his seat to look at the night sky in the background. "Russia lost a lot. From their fight against Nazi Germany."

  


The woman smiled as Steve returned his gaze at her. "It's hard to believe you knew that. It's like you are slipping into a small lie but it's not."    


  


"Steven Rogers." Steve offered his hands to the woman and the woman took his hands and shook it. "Natalia Romanova from the 46th "Taman" Guards Night Bomber Aviation Regiment"

  


"The Night Witches?" _"If only they could have called us better, but yes."_

_  
_

The night was still young to pass on some good vodka. Natalia pulled a flask from her coat and offered it to Steve. "A small token." Steve took it and had a sip. He felt dizzy after that first sip. _Oh, this is definitely not good. Not that kind of good._ After that, Steve passed out.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading even if it's rushed and all. Love lots.


End file.
